Got2speakonlyfe

Okay I have a twitter now. Iv given in guys…http://twitter.com/Thicknsexy954 Twit me? Lol don’t sound as fly as Google me…Only have 2 followers right now but I’m not in a rush because there is an extremely thIn line between “follower” and stalker. Lmao

Last night I was glued to the tube watching the world premiere of “America” a lifetime original movie about an angry and emotionally uneasy foster “child” and his social worker who trys to save him before he ages out of the system. A very good movie and a must-see for anyone who can relate.

When I was born my mother was unable to care for me because she was diagnosed with a dangerous mental disease. My father wasn’t around yet. If my god-sent grandmother didn’t agree to raise me who knows where I would be right now. “Nan” raised me for the most part. My father was there on and off, he was a good dad. My mom did what she could but many times I was watching her instead of the other way around. I had to make sure she didn’t try to hurt herself or start painting the walls.

As a teenager I was a wild one. Cursing, stealing, running away, leaving for “school” and doing things I wouldn’t dare document. I was in the streets for no apparant reason and government workers could not slow me down. They were there though, driving me to the local clinic for an STD test or helping me clean my room. I was off the chain because my upbringing was all twisted. I was vulnerable and the devil was having fun with me. The town truancy officer knew my story and I was scaring everybody who loved me. I was sippin on the wrOng juice and the rich side of my family would not let my immediate family forget it. They said I couldn’t make it and I wouldn’t have without divine intervention.

GOD blessed me with knowing someone who knows someone who knows of a program that may help me. HANDY (an acronym for Helping Abused Neglected Dependent Youth) Fed me, clothed me and placed my accomplishments at their desks. They hooked me up with a nice apartment, monthly giftcards and money for my light bill. Kirk and Christina… Like family to me.

I finished my selected trade school for massage therapy, obtained a job in my field, working fulltime and in school part time to further my career in hollistic healthcare. I’v truely been blessed. I wasn’t exactly ready to appreciate my blessings but they were there, givin to me by the hands of a non-profit organization sort of like the one in the movie “America”

When I have my millions in a couple years I will help the 17 year olds who have no idea what to do with themselves. €he 8 out of 10 kids who end up dead, homeless or in prison…

AmERicA was a great film and can you believe the young actor who played America has never acted before???!! Rosie o donnell (who plays the social worker) found him in a diner two days prior to shooting the movie. Maybe that’s the reason his performance seems so natural. Some of my best pictures were a result of my first photo shoot …it just flows the first time :)…Have a good one guys, stay blessed.

Those of us expecting a refund are hella excited right now. My successful business men and women? Not so excited. Well not only do I have a refund but I have 3 dependents and I didn’t receive a stimulus check last year so they won’t be taking thAt back. So I guess that means that I’ll have a car pretty soon huh? Since I lost my car in September iv hopped, skipped, and flew to work, not missing a day, waiting faithfully. I will have my Jetta soon. I can smell it. I’m going to pick up my check tomorrow bright and early. Happy tax time everybody! Who’s excited about Inauguration Day? I sure am, I will be be glued to the tv all day, thank God I have Tuesday off.

Btween checks I promise myself not to spend on materialistic buLL…I go as far as making a detailed list of ways to use my money in productive ways. As soon as I get some new money, I sit with it for a day or two and I spend it on something i will soon stash up somewhere and never use. It’s an ugly cycle. It’s been much worse, and I guess I can’t expect to change overnight, but it’s slowing down my progress!  I feel different though, Lately i’v been spending money on my family and other outlets other than hollister and kohls lol. I feel myself changing. I don’t eat out as much. I don’t NEED a trip to the spa. Like many other things I speak on, its a constant spiritual war. One side of me buys comfort items. A new designer shirt. The latest hype in the electronic world.  A gourmet meal at a nice resturant…dining alone…NOT EVEN HUNGRY. Spending money that is meant to help myselp and others make moves in this crazy world. I see the bigger picture…I’ll keep praying for myself…I don’t want to have a “consumer’s mind” I have so much to do and life is short! Lord…Deliver me from the mall.

Lacrae-”Change”

I feel much better now. I spoke with my father last night for a half an hour or so. I was avoiding making the call because I didn’t call him on his birthday. I also avoided calling him on Thanksgiving for no apparent reason. I felt terrible and I didn’t know what to do. My heart was telling me to just call, he’s probably worried about me at this point. The little voice in the corridor of my mind was telling me not to call because I had been a bad daughter. The battlefield of the mind is a dangerous place. Last night I was browsing through dvds because I had extra money on my amazon.com account. I stumbled accross the 4 disc set of “Faulty Towers” which immediately brought back warm memories of my dad. I had to be 10 or 12 years old when he had me watch a few episodes of this hilArIous british comedy show. I had to buy it for him! The perfect christmas gift…but I didn’t have his address, hell I didn’t even have his phone number. So I proceeded to call my grandma (nan) and obtain the digits. I called, we had a wonderful conversation and I ordered the gift to reach him by christmas day. But WHY do we sometimes run from our loved ones???? The devil is a LIAR! Lol

I just added the link to my blog on my famous youtube video so first and foremost I would like to welcome all of you to my blog. To those who don’t know…I have a video on Youtube of me “dancing”. The video has over one million hits because I am, indeed, Thick and sexy I have been neglecting my viewers and I am sooooo sowY but the past few months have taken me through so many changes. God is in my life more actively than ever and everything is UP from here so in a nutshell…I’M BAQ!

I will post new videos in a few months when I buy a new camera.

It’s my day off and I feel good! Almost as good as when I come home from a doctor’s appointment. I thought I’d share one of my favorite B Scott Vids. I watch this when i’m having a rough day and it puts a smile right on my fAce….EnjoY

Me after my most recent Doctor’s appointment