Recently I got laid off because of “workforce reduction” or downsizing. Change excites me yet the ill effects are also felt, I’m a work in progress and I do my best to stay positive. Financially I have no worries, I eat good and I have love and family around. I tend to get lost in my thoughts now that I have so much free time so I work a little harder to shut off the redundant mind talk and remember I am here for a reason. After working in an office setting for a couple years you grow attatched to the people and the routine of 9-5 life. On the brighter side I am filled with excitement. Losing a hum drum job helps you remember what your real dream is and gives you time to execute it. As for myself, I love music, writing and helping people and I didn’t do one of those things 40 something hours of my week. I feel free. God is surely good, he’s in control and he knows where he’s taking me. I trust him Now that I am “between opportunities” I will have my 2nd knee surgery done. I had my meniscus repaired months ago…now, Acl reconstruction, within a year or two I will be doing yoga and dancing again. Yaaaay! Not to mention my S&F case is doing just dandy and the love of my life is sweeter than ever. I know I don’t have a job but I feel so blessed to have made it over that stepping stone in my life…NeXT!
I love him so it doesn’t seem impure
But How does God view it
I love to get crazy in bed
“Make you say things”
The urge is so strong
I want it all the time
Should that be considered Greed?
If I am greedy, I am behaving improperly
I am hindered in my walk
According to the great book
Mind you, I dont believe every sentence written
yet I believe in this certain verse particularly…
“Among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity,
or of Greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people (Eph. 5:3 NIV)”
…so Deep in my soul it reeks of truth
It proves to be a difficult task to determine If my lovemaking fits into this category
I feel so dirty
In a good way?
I thank God afterwards
for it is surely a blessing
To connect with him in such a spiritual way
I will not declare confusion
I will just say I am a work in progress with questions to be answered
God is molding me daily to meet his standards
I am not straddling the fence but on the playing field in the thick of the action
I feel guity but proud
Full of angst and glory
I kiss him with a smile
Feeling like God is present one moment
Like he is shaking his head the next
I will hand this over to the lord
and i refuse to burden my heart and my love with worry
I find comfort in the idea that I care so much
I have truly grown into the God-fearing woman I dreamed I would be.
The fake “Hello”. The ladder of power. The struggle at times to keep your sanity in a seemingly fake environment. I put little energy into this crazy place, I pretty much talk the talk, wear the costume and put in no more effort than minimally required. I have seen wonderful people pursecuted by the man or the woman in my case and i have blocked out my emotions to a certain degree for my own good. But yersterday I had to truly be strong as my good friend and manager was laid off. Aaron if you are reading, i love you man. He has been here for years which has become quite a rarity. He created, perfected and maintained our department and handled all managerial duties. There are two team leads that work under Aaron and they do little to help. As for me,i am but a mere pawn by choice, i have worked so hard. With a promotion to human resources in near sight they gave me a pat on the back and a “thanks”. Because of my knee injury and time-off requests i was bypassed. I have done sales and made a killing, have done customer service and stopped people from sueing our wonderful company and I have done Human Resources and gave exceptionally worthy people a chance to thrive at a so-called reputable company. I am back on the phones now and I love it. No one to answer to, not bustin extra ass for the same dollar. Im just here. I have seen friends come and go for little or no reason and I have lost patience believing in our mission statement. They let Aaron go because of “workforce downsizing” but some of us veteran reps know what really happened. Team lead Sujey did not like that she had someone over her. There has been an ongoing power struggle and everyone has been caught in the midst of a dramatic tug of war scenario. I knew when Aaron’s calls were being pulled for calibrations, when his random lateness was being documented and when witnesses were called to sign off on his “rude behaviour” that this would happen. I sat in my cubicle AIMing my life away on a slow
Monday and I see a couple HR workers come through with boxes collecting his things. Minutes earlier i was conversing with my friend and bossman and throughout the warm
smiles and laughter I was thinking “What will he do when they fire him, I hope he will be okay”. I continued the convo, slightly confused to why I had those
negative thoughts. Now he is gone with no replacement. Work is piled up on an empty desk. They know without a raise in pay no one is here to help. They randomly choose
a proffesional-looking rep as a new team lead. God bless her soul. God bless us all as I endure yet another beautiful day in corporate paradise.
* This is completely true but to CMOA I must tell you that all characters and events in this blog entry (even those based on real people) are entirely fictional *
I am scarred for life and utterly shocked in the worst way. I cannot even write a review because i am actively trying to forget this mess. Here is an accurate review of the movie “Bruno”. I am disgusted and dissapointed. I loved “Borat” to death and supported the whole Sasha movement. I went last night (opening night) so excited and it was pure fuckery (sorry for the language)
A love so strong, that never ended
Paused for retaliation
Lessons taught
Sent to me in the form of my best friend
But to let that get in the way would be beyond foolish, detrimental to my walk
Lovers we became, what can I say?
I ran away to empty arms, unhappy endings, self-destructive and selfish becomings
He loved me. Always loved me
In the shadows…
An eye always watching, a voice always heard, an ear lent but never seen
Blinded with the devil riding me
I was a child walking unshielded
Class dismissed
Love was mine with GOD as my saviour…
Carried me to safety
True happiness was packaged and delivered
With one last gift to be given
An overwhelming feeling of completeness
Reassurance that I am headed North
There is no doubt that this is the man I should walk with
Ironically the only man on earth I can trust and follow…
After mirroring his every move during our first encounter
Makes me want to question my belief of reincarnation
I never want to lose him
He understands me like no other
Reads my every thought silently
He knows how deep my love is
So thankful to have him back
No bitterness. No revenge sought out.
Only the love that has been lurking on the sideline
Now in clear view
Front and center
A reunion in its purest and most beautiful form…
My best friend. My lover. My blessing. My all.
I’ts been a while. I’m back now as I’m happily consumed by my thoughts of you. A nonstop muse in my presence. It makes no sense, a self-acclaimed writer with the passion of a pulitzer prize winning novelist has been missing in action, how does this happen? Lack of inspiration? The meantime blues. Maybe. Baby. But I’m stagnant no more. I’m so sure that what we have is deserving of my words as they hit this paper. Like you hit me. Got me jotting rhyme schemes. You’re so special to me. And so…I switch up my style, hop scotch over the many genres. Free verse, burlesque or an ode to you. My dear, when you are near, its more than enough for inspiration. And so, I write again.
Okay I have a twitter now. Iv given in guys…http://twitter.com/Thicknsexy954 Twit me? Lol don’t sound as fly as Google me…Only have 2 followers right now but I’m not in a rush because there is an extremely thIn line between “follower” and stalker. Lmao
I was happily joining the rest of my hip hop class at my gym when I slipped, fell and proceeded to scream for a few moments…I felt my knee “pop” as my leg slid under all my weight behind my body. I feel water all over my leg and hear everyone yelling for someone to turn the music down…I tell everyone I’m ok even though I wasn’t and I let my teacher clean up the puddle under me. It looked like someone from the previous class spilled some water and nobody cleaned it up. Hmmm. When I got up and struggled to get myself to the car and get in my bed, the pain was terrible, it felt like my kneecap was loose. I rested for a day and it had gotten worse so I called my attorney and told him what happened. He had me see the best doctor in the area who thought I tore my acl, after my MRI was received he told me I completely tore my medial meniscus. Earlier, When asked where the pain was I responded the medial and back side of my knee, also felt mediating from my ankle to hip. So I was not surprised. He also told me I will be needing surgery. I will find out tomorrow when I will be scheduled for the procedure. I hope its very soon because yesterday I felt a painful “pop” in my knee again and I have been limping around for weeks. I’m going through workout withdraw syndrome and I can’t take the stairs! I can’t dance! And I will be broke off! I just started with the HR dept at my job and from sales to cust service to corporate recruiter is a great leap for 09 but I missed out on a promotion because I’m limping around like a crazy person lol at least I have a job where I don’t have to stand but I miss my active lifestyle and just to let everyone know tearing your medial meniscus is a pretty bad injury.
Lmao this will not be a “deep” entry…I’m at work and I’m just chillin wondering why I can’t deny this song? When I first heard it I’m like oh no what tha world is thIs? i had to lower it just to be able to experience it cuz i was driving and didnt wanna thump it lol…well i found myself listening it at least once a day and now im str8 in my cubicle jammin so hard right now. im gettin money…oh! lmao
confused?
Im talkin about Souja boy’s new song…”Turn my swag on”
WHAT IS WRONG WIT Q????!
Lol wow buddy is lOsIn it…he is sexy as ever but he is trIppin…I feel him when he gets tired of not having creative control over the direction that the group is going but jeez, I mean first he wants to beat Will, he’s makin big boy cry and now hes beating someone else on tha next episode. Brian’s absolutely right. Things will never be the same. lmao entertainment at its best.
Confused?…q from making the band is really losing it.
Now that I am “between opportunities” I will have my 2nd knee surgery done. I had my meniscus repaired months ago…now, Acl reconstruction, within a year or two I will be doing yoga and dancing again. Yaaaay! Not to mention my S&F case is doing just dandy and the love of my life is sweeter than ever. I know I don’t have a job but I feel so blessed to have made it over that stepping stone in my life…NeXT!